Parenting Teens for a Life of Faith: Helping teens meet and know God

Parenting teens has its challenges. The once-small children we had are pulling away from us, growing in independence and making decisions with bigger consequences. It can be easy to think we are less influential in their lives, particularly when it comes to faith. But that is not true. Parents remain the significant spiritual influencer in a teen’s life, and they need us to help them navigate the world and faith together. This book will help all parents, carers, grandparents and others involved in teens’ everyday lives to understand the teenage faith journey more and find their place within it.

Church Times 23.06.23. Review by Dennis Richards

This book is intended for families in which parents have a settled ‘position’ on their personal commitment of faith, coupled with a firm church affiliation, and an aspiration to take their children along the same journey. Conscious that some may see this approach as a form of brainwashing, the author establishes from an early stage the concept of parents as ‘fellow travellers’, also on a journey and ready to share with their children the ups and downs of the Christian life. It is far more important to be ‘authentic’ than to strive to be ‘perfect’ and invariably fail. As a parent, you are simply a more experienced traveller, who by virtue of age and experience is further along the track. It is most unlikely, anyway, that anxious parents will be able to create an identikit version of themselves in their children.

There are interesting tips for engaging in debate with older children, nevertheless being aware also that younger children can ask the most searching of questions. ‘If God made everything, why did he make germs?’ is a familiar example. For my daughter, it was nettles, given that, aged five, she fell into a bed of them. It didn’t seem the right moment to preach to her about Job’s stoicism.

 I did like the author’s vivid ‘surfing’ metaphor. Parents’ primary function is to enable their children to face the unpredictable waves of life. That section works well. I am less convinced by the six-point plan based on being a good supporter of a football team. It seems risky to me, especially as Rachel Turner bases the analogy on our local team, Leeds United. Sadly, they seem to be prone fairly regularly to relegation.

She is on firmer ground in her conclusions. There is little point in parents’ striving to pass on their faith; the proper task is to equip children with the means to find their own. Parents who have reached the other side of their children’s adolescence can take some comfort there, even if they no longer support Leeds United.
Reviewed by Dennis Richards is a former head of St Aidan’s C of E High School Harrogate North Yorkshire

Transforming Ministry Summer 2023. Review by Howard Rowe

There could scarcely be a more important topic for today’s world. This book is written not just for Christian parents with teenage or approaching-teenage children, but for others involved in support of parenthood, too – grandparents, aunts, uncles, teachers and youth leaders. As a grandparent of teens, a life of faith for them is very important to me, so I read this book expectantly. The book suggests an excellent framework for parenting, but it is not a guidebook for navigating issues. It addresses listening, availability, empathy, friendship, church involvement and is strong on prayer; but it doesn’t address bullying, social media, drugs, sexual identity or behaviour. There are lots of stories of parenting – both good and bad – and these kept me engaged, though some of the imagined conversations felt a bit contrived. There’s a lot to get right, and Rachel Turner covers a lot of ground.

Twenty-first century teenagers need good parenting and good support. This book will encourage those who seek to provide it. I recommend it.

Reviewed by Howard Rowe