...a gem born out of pain and conflict and hard-won faith.
The Church of England Newspaper
Content
First published as Never Too Old to Grow, this new edition of a popular BRF title explores, in a series of reflections, aspects of caring and being cared for. Alexine Crawford draws on her own years of looking after her mother as well as the experiences of friends in similar circumstances.
Her moving and insightful stories suggest how, despite the often exhausting practicalities of the caring role, there can be a way through to a place of peace and healing, wholeness and joy.
Contents:
- Honour
- Being Old
- Family Stress
- What About Me?
- Forgiveness
- The Person Inside
- A Good Dying
Endorsements
...a gem born out of pain and conflict and hard-won faith.
The Church of England Newspaper
...the book is both compassionate and constructive, written from personal knowledge of situations which many will encounter.
The Methodist Recorder
...[the author] is to be congratulated on her honesty and willingness to admit the negative and hostile feelings that so many of us experience in the day-to-day commitment of caring. She also shows a way through and how the Lord can turn all our stumbling blocks to springboards.
Christian Herald
...a book of courage and inspiration, in which we are invited to take an honest look at the daily struggles and frustrations of carer and cared for... The readings are brave, often painful, yet sensitive.
Home and Family
Reviews
From Reform Magazine - May 2011
Wise words about caring for the elderly
I profoundly wish I had discovered this book years ago, when I was caring for my aged mother; and I shall strongly encourage my own children to read it for themselves as I move into the last years of my life and will probably need their care in one form or another. The wisdom - practical, emotional and spiritual - packed into this short and simple book is life-giving.
Mrs Crawford uses her own story of caring for her mother, as well as stories from other people's experience, to help us identify the feelings lurking within a hard-pressed carer. She has chosen apt and moving and sometimes unusual (when was the last time you read about Barzillai the Gileadite?) scriptures to reflect on and to feed us.
The book starts by describing the emotions a carer may feel when he or she first realizes the size of the task ahead, and ends with the emotions a carer may feel when the task ends with the death of the person being cared for. The reflections are short and easy to read, with humour and candour; the anecdotes are told with brave honesty, clarity and tact. Mrs Crawford does not labour any teaching, but leaves the reader space to make his or her own connections. Neither does she speak from any moral or spiritual high ground, making the reader feel inadequate; this is a book which practises the acceptance and forgiveness which it talks about.
If you are a carer, or, if you foresee the time when you may take that role, may I commend this book to you. With its wisdom within you, may you be a blessing to the person you care for, as Mrs Crawford must have been to her mother.
Ruth Allen is a retired United Reformed Church minister
This is a book about the personal and spiritual challenges of caring for a loved one who is frail or confused. Most people who fall into this category are those in the 'fourth age' - the very old, although we shouldn't forget that young people can also suffer from debilitating health conditions and dementia.
Alexine Crawford writes out of the bittersweet experience of caring for her mother in the final years of her life, marked by her physical and cognitive decline due to many small strokes. She writes with striking honesty and deep insight into her own psychology - insight gained through her struggle with her many complex feelings towards her mother as she tried to live out her vocation to care for her as best she could.
As the title indicates, this is a series of bite-sized reflections (they are just the right length if you are a weary reader), firmly based around short Bible passages. The whole sweep of scripture is used; there are stories of family strain, poetic reflections on old age, exhortations to virtues such as forgiveness and compassion (including the need to be forgiving towards ourselves), simple words of comfort and encouragement. Each passage is engaged with in depth from the perspective of caring for a loved one in the real world. The dark feelings and thoughts that can emerge in such situations are named, and the reader is always challenged, but each reflection ends on a hopeful note.
I found the book personally helpful, with an emphasis on human realism and kindness together with a deep sense that God is at work with us as we struggle at the edge of our human resources. I would recommend it as a spiritual resource for all who are caring for a loved one, especially an elderly parent.
Rev Dr Joanna Collicutt, Oxford Diocesan Advisor for the Spiritual Care of Older People
Reviewed by The Good Bookstall - March 2011
This was first published as Never Too Old to Grow in 2001 and at the time I wrote the following -
'Alexine Crawford has written of the intense learning experience of herself and her family as she cared for her Mother suffering senile dementia. Through bible passages that she has very obviously studied in depth, their interpretation, and anecdotes from her own and friends lives, I found great comfort and a new understanding of happenings in my own life. This left me wishing to recommend this book to a wide variety of readers, not only those who think of themselves as carers. The lessons the writer has learnt, and that she shares with us here, bring the opportunity for the healing of many of our relationships.'
This re-publishing of a title I read ten years ago prompted me to re-read it. I liked it then, I like it now and feel just the same about it. Highly recommended - again!
Reviewed by Mary Bartholomew
I have recently finished reading The Challenge of Caring and now I use it as a reference book, as I am involved in the ongoing care of my mother. I have no care background, and often feel I hit boundaries of my ability.
I would recommend the reading of this book equally to carers who are not related to the person in care, to the person being cared for, and to the relative doing the caring.
The book helped me to understand that I'm not good at all aspects of care, and that's OK. Also it has started to prepare me for mother's death.
The book has a nice balance, of shared experiences of carers, Alexine's thoughts and experiences, and passages from the Bible which show their relevance today on the care topic. Some chapters are quite short, a few pages, and that is enough reading at one time, a book to read slowly.
It has helped me to be a better carer; and has helped me in understanding myself, my mother, and the challenges of the changing circumstances.
Reviewed by John Lander
Book details
- ISBN: 9781841017488
- Published: 21 January 2011
- Status:
- Format: Paperback
- Pages: 176
